The great train race

The observations continue......
We all know us Brits love a queue. But commuters clearly love them more than anyone else.
I've monitored this for several weeks now and noticed a new subspecies. Not sure if there's an inventive name, other than those who like to queue.
I have to say, I don't get it. The aisle-onlys I understand. They want space, they need space, they will do anything to get that spaced.
But the queuers' actions seem nonsensical. At least five minutes, probably closer to ten, they gather up their belongings, speedily stowing away the coffee, phone, laptop., newspaper and coats. The urgent, hushed whisper comes: "can you move please, I need to get out", "excuse me, excuse me", as they hustle down the carriage. The race is on, who can get to the vestibule first, to be the person in poll position at the door, waiting to leap onto the platform the minute it opens? Who can be first?
And the rest of the queuers take their place, lining up one by one on the starting grid. Pawing the ground like keen racehorses, revving their engines like F1 drivers, they're all ready to go.
There's just one problem, the train isn't there yet. It won't be for several minutes. And in fact, for most of them, their queuing hasn't got them any further down the line. The true spirit of British manners means that when those in the seats near the front of the queue stand up, they are allowed in. Of course, it will only be the most churlish of travellers that block one of their fellow commuters out. Nobody wants to be that selfish in such an obvious way - if they're going to do it they'd rather do it on the sly.
So here they are, queuing up, dutifully waiting, to save how much time? Hours? No. Minutes? Not really. Possibly seconds, if they're lucky. So that queuing, that scrabbling and scrambling and standing in the aisle is pretty much unnecessary.
And, irony of all ironies, a brief survey carried out by yours truly suggests that seven out of ten of these people who consistently queue are in fact so slow that it only takes the length of two carriages walk down the platform to overtake them!
Take some advice guys, save yourselves the trouble...