The Daily Commute

How does the saying go? Something like, 'put people in a tough environment and you see both the best, and worst, of humanity'. Well yes, I'd back that.
And where, pray tell, is this tough environment? No other place than the daily commute.
According to 2009 figures 25million people in the UK commute to and from work, with 700,000 alone pouring into London, either from its outskirts, commuter towns, or even further afield.
I've only recently become one of those people - and if my eyes were ever to be opened, well they are now.
From now on, you will probably see a fair few posts dedicated to observations from the daily commute - mainly because I've realised it's the most fascinating way to observe my fellow man (and woman of course).
A novice to rail commuting, I looked forward to leaving road rage behind. Little did I know I was opening myself up to a whole new world....

Forget motorway-induced anger - on my first journey back home on the good old West Coast Mainline, I watched a woman morph into a harpy, screaming at a man who had run over her sandalled foot with a suitcase in his effort to get to the train to secure a seat. Who was at fault, you might ask? Well, it appeared to be an accident - however, the man was still so busy trying to beat the crowd that he wasn't around to offer an apology, commiserations, or even insist it was an accident. Imagine his face when same-said-harpy arrived in the seat opposite him to continue her diatribe.

Seating is always an issue, especially on some train lines. The Tube at rush hour is, for most, standing room only. Seats are hallowed ground, only the chosen few get the chance to rest their weary legs during the ride. Imagine then, not a tale of pushiness but a tale of generosity. A teenage girl clearing the crowds like Moses with his staff to allow and elderly lady to the chance to sit down. The original raised voice from the girl is not a teenage reprobate "kicking off" it turns out, but her having to point out to a man twice her age that it is merely sheer selfishness that he remains in his seat. Another good deed on the chart.
But seating is a whole new world on mainline commuter trains. The fact there are more of them means people are not willing to resign themselves to standing. And why should they, for hours? There are often plenty of seats to go round. That is, once the subspecies of what will henceforth be referred to as "aisle-only seaters", are moved out of the way.
"Aisle-onlys" are those people who get to the seats first - usually the ones with tables if they are at the top of their game. And, instead of sitting by the window, knowing as they do that the train is likely to be full, they take the aisle seat.
Why is this? Is this to do with preference? Do they have that seat reserved? Are those seats more comfortable?
No, in fact, the aisle-onlys have developed their "routine" for one purpose, and one purpose only - in the vain hope they may be able to have two whole seats to themselves.
Of course, this is never going to happen. The train is full, everyone wants a seat, everyone has paid for a seat. Cue the awkward moment of having to ask if anyone is actually sitting in the window seat, only for mr or mrs aisle-only to huff, and puff, and threaten to blow your house down in just one look as they move their laptop, coffee cup, mobile, and paperwork, so you can use the seat.
Of course, their game is more complex than a delaying tactic. It's about being the leader of the pack, the king of the jungle. Who will dare to topple the aisle-only person from their throne and ask them to move. It's the equivalent of poor Oliver asking: "please sir, can I have some more". You expect the roar, the reprimands, and the punishment. But worry not - face your fears and you will get the realistic result of the aisle-onlys capitulating, annoyed and looking rather silly, as you move into your seat. And that's before you even get to the satisfaction of the fact you made them move, you toppled them from their throne.

There's a few aisle-onlys on my train - same service, same carriage, same MO, every time. Will they change their ways? Probably not, unless there is a wholesale revolution of commuters who force them to see that this is downright selfishness in operation - bare-faced arrogance in the face of your fellow traveller. One might question what this makes of their behaviour the rest of the time - perhaps it's no coincidence that "aisle-only" said at commuter pace could be mistaken for "I'm lonely".....