Amidst pensions strikes, Greece's disaster, and ongoing problems in Libya, we have one of this week's biggest news stories - an email sent to a bride-to-be from her fiance's stepmother, criticising her manners, or apparent lack thereof, and generally causing a bit of a rucus.
Thanks to the speed with which emails can "go viral" these days, everybody knows and has an opinion on who is right or wrong in the saga. Should Carolyn Bourne have sent the sharp-tongued, harsh email to her stepson's fiancee Heidi Withers, or did Ms Withers in some way deserve it, if the way she is said to have behaved is true? The story's sparked a debate across the globe, and I guess we'll never know exactly what the truth is, as only that family knows the history, the behaviour, and the reasons behind this rather public argument.
But there was one line that seemed to stick out to me - perhaps not in the delivery, nor completely in the sentiment, but for the underlying issue it seems to raise. Mrs Bourne suggests to Ms Withers that the couple should not hanker after a celebrity-style wedding in a castle, but perhaps "have a modest wedding as befits both (their) incomes". Wow, what a controversial thing to say. With the average cost of weddings at at least £20,000, with people inspired by the excesses of the rich and famous, it seems a "modest wedding" that befits your income is the last thing on anyone's mind.
Weddings for many in our generation are no longer about the concept of marriage, it seems to me. In fact planning for a lifetime together is pretty low on the agenda when there's a huge party to outdo all parties to be planned. There's the dress, it's got to be as great as Kate's, but not an obvious copy, a venue that will be the envy of all your friends, food to die for, a guest list that includes absolutely ALL of your Facebook friends, whether you can afford it or not, and of course a party that people talk about for decades to come. After organising all of this, sparing no expense, the commitment part is just a given - not something to be thought about, taking account of, given real time and effort to - it's just a small part of a complex military operation.
Yes yes, this is all rather cynical, I know. Not everyone's like that, how could I say that! But Ms Withers' desire to get married in a castle (apparently, of course we only have Mrs Bourne's word for it) despite (again apparently) not being able to afford it, is a fairly good example of this.
Of course, a bride's day is supposed to be one of the most special of her life (I wouldn't know, haven't got that one down yet!), but surely the special part is supposed to be committing to the person you love, to sticking with them through thick and thin and trying your damndest to make it work, even when times are hard. Not spending tens of thousands of pounds you don't have just to throw a party that is the envy of all your friends.
Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but even if much of what she says is cruel, unnecessarily critical and potentially untrue, I think on this one small part Mrs Bourne may have a point.
We all take great delight in mocking the travellers on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding for their need for the "biggest" and the "best" - but are the rest of us any better?
Saturday, 2 July 2011
My first festival experience
As someone who isn't much of a hardcore "rocker" and likes my creature comforts, spending a weekend camping in a mudbath, using horrible toilets, and seeing music that's very cool yet knowing very little of it, has never been top of my list.
But, having always stuck with the mantra that you should try everything once before you knock it, I realised I couldn't really pass judgement on this festival experience everyone raves about without trying it for myself. And with the scary 30 fast approaching, this year seemed the right year to take the plunge.
First observations - Glastonbury is HUUUUGGE! Far biggerin reality that you can even begin to grasp from either what you're told, or what you see on the TV. The walk from your car to the campsite is long, gruelling even. The campsite itself is a sea of tents, crammed so close you can hear your neighbour breathing, let alone snoring. The mud, well, there aren't really any words, and the toilets, need I say more.
But all these things fade into insignificance once you start to embrace what Glastonbury is all about. Some may bemoan the fact it has changed - the small festival started by Michael Eavis in 1970 when entry was just £1 including free milk from the farm. Some say the hippy atmosphere has been lost to the commercial behemoth Glastonbury has become; the small acts replaced by huge headliners. And yes, as I said above, it's HUGE. The acts are massive - who would have thought a diva like Beyonce would take centre-stage at an event like this, that mainstream pop-lovers would be able to party alongside the hippies, rockers, and uber-cool people who know exactly which band is going to soar to worldwide fame before the band knows it themselves?
But this is the beauty of Glastonbury. It has changed with the times - it's cool but inclusive.
There may have been a time when a top-40 lover like me would have felt out of place, uncool, and just not suited to Glastonbury. But the fact there's so much, something for everyone, means that whilst changing, people can enjoy five days of fun no matter what they're in to. It means Glastonbury is, as it always has been, somewhere where everyone can join in. Nobody's left out of music choices or entertainment, which means it keeps its charm.
Large it may be - I realised I saw so little in the time I was there it was shameful - but there's still hippy stalls, areas to sit and while away the hours. There's still the focus on environmental awareness, Greenpeace is a huge presence, and we're all reminded of the roots of Michael Eavis' creation.
Some people who remember Glasto how it was "back in the day" feel they have lost the festival they fell in love with. But for newcomers like me, the evolving Glastonbury is what keeps it alive. The way it is changing will keep it a popular event, will mean people keep listening to the messages that are still there deep down, and keep listening to the musicians whose work is given an airing to one of the biggest audiences of the year. And it means people like me, more S Club than supercool, feel they can go and join in, without being left out in the cold by all the cool cats out there!
But, having always stuck with the mantra that you should try everything once before you knock it, I realised I couldn't really pass judgement on this festival experience everyone raves about without trying it for myself. And with the scary 30 fast approaching, this year seemed the right year to take the plunge.
First observations - Glastonbury is HUUUUGGE! Far biggerin reality that you can even begin to grasp from either what you're told, or what you see on the TV. The walk from your car to the campsite is long, gruelling even. The campsite itself is a sea of tents, crammed so close you can hear your neighbour breathing, let alone snoring. The mud, well, there aren't really any words, and the toilets, need I say more.
But all these things fade into insignificance once you start to embrace what Glastonbury is all about. Some may bemoan the fact it has changed - the small festival started by Michael Eavis in 1970 when entry was just £1 including free milk from the farm. Some say the hippy atmosphere has been lost to the commercial behemoth Glastonbury has become; the small acts replaced by huge headliners. And yes, as I said above, it's HUGE. The acts are massive - who would have thought a diva like Beyonce would take centre-stage at an event like this, that mainstream pop-lovers would be able to party alongside the hippies, rockers, and uber-cool people who know exactly which band is going to soar to worldwide fame before the band knows it themselves?
But this is the beauty of Glastonbury. It has changed with the times - it's cool but inclusive.
There may have been a time when a top-40 lover like me would have felt out of place, uncool, and just not suited to Glastonbury. But the fact there's so much, something for everyone, means that whilst changing, people can enjoy five days of fun no matter what they're in to. It means Glastonbury is, as it always has been, somewhere where everyone can join in. Nobody's left out of music choices or entertainment, which means it keeps its charm.
Large it may be - I realised I saw so little in the time I was there it was shameful - but there's still hippy stalls, areas to sit and while away the hours. There's still the focus on environmental awareness, Greenpeace is a huge presence, and we're all reminded of the roots of Michael Eavis' creation.
Some people who remember Glasto how it was "back in the day" feel they have lost the festival they fell in love with. But for newcomers like me, the evolving Glastonbury is what keeps it alive. The way it is changing will keep it a popular event, will mean people keep listening to the messages that are still there deep down, and keep listening to the musicians whose work is given an airing to one of the biggest audiences of the year. And it means people like me, more S Club than supercool, feel they can go and join in, without being left out in the cold by all the cool cats out there!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)